I should be working, but instead I am being annoyed that I can't seem to find a super chunky black or dark brown shoe that doesn't say
1) I listen to Evanescence
2) I subscribe to anarchy magazines with ads for semi-automatics in the back, right next to the German Shepherd litter ads.
3) My fingernails are black, and so's my soul.
4) I am the fourth witch sister from Stardust.
5) I take small bills, please, and you can tuck them in my bra.
6) I'm rebelling. Against you. Against everything. Screw you. YOU TOO. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
Okay, that last one's okay. Basically all I want is a giant shoe that will look sweet with a bell bottom. By sweet, I mean "could kick your butt." Or "weebles wobble but they don't fall down."
These are my problems.