Friday, August 6, 2010

These Are My Problems

I should be working, but instead I am being annoyed that I can't seem to find a super chunky black or dark brown shoe that doesn't say

1) I listen to Evanescence

2) I subscribe to anarchy magazines with ads for semi-automatics in the back, right next to the German Shepherd litter ads.

3) My fingernails are black, and so's my soul.

4) I am the fourth witch sister from Stardust.

5) I take small bills, please, and you can tuck them in my bra.

6) I'm rebelling. Against you. Against everything. Screw you. YOU TOO. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?


Okay, that last one's okay. Basically all I want is a giant shoe that will look sweet with a bell bottom. By sweet, I mean "could kick your butt." Or "weebles wobble but they don't fall down."

These are my problems.

17 comments:

beth said...

Having a bad day?

Amelia Robinson said...

LOL! Wow.

Forgive me for laughing at your expense. But I seriously wish I could be this funny, especially when I'm ticked off. I tend to get very loud and very dramatic when I'm mad (read: lots and lots of ranting and nearly throwing my beloved books across the room.)

I wish I could offer some empathy...but I've always been perfectly content with my hole-in-the-toe red Ked sneakers. XD I don't have the patience for shopping of any kind (unless it is in Borders. I'm thinking of renting some shelf space there so I can sleep.)

Cheer up! Read a book that involves no trouble with acquiring black shoes that don't scream death and destruction. ^_^

-Amelia

Adrianna said...

Cheer up, cheer up! Everyone has their days :)

Jessica Secret said...

I SOOOOOOOOOO want those shoes. Sorry for your problems, they'll get better. :)

maine character said...

Did someone say Super Chunky? Oh, that'd be so good right now...

But really, I relate - I just want a simple brown sneaker, and yet they're all zig-zag aluminum foil with flashing lights or oh-so-hip-hop-mop-top-whatever.

And thanks for the "Weebles wobble" flashback. I bet they had good brown shoes back then.

WildIrishRose33 said...

Haha. I love you, you're hilarious. Hope you find the shoes you're lookin for!

Anonymous said...

I totally understand...think Danskos!! :)E

Zoƫ Marriott said...

Having just done an Amazon search on chunky boots...I see what you mean. Especially the 'Small bills in the bra' one. Since when did 'chunky' come to mean 'appropriate for professional fetish workers'?

If you lived in the UK, I would send you to Clarks, where you could get these - http://www.clarks.co.uk/find/department-is-women/producttype-is-boots/subproducttype-is-ankleboots/product-is-20341436 Which I think you will agree, definitely look like the kind of boots that could kick someone's ass (in a non-professional fetish worker sense). Do they have Clarks in America?

korey said...

Can't go wrong with Doc's: http://www.drmartens.com/ProductList.asp?Story=womens&type=All

Donna Gambale said...

The real question is: Why would you NOT want to look like the fourth witch sister from Stardust?

My primary footwear is:
1) none
2) flip flops -- the socially acceptable form of near-barefoot-ness
... so can't really help with suggestions.

kit said...

Heres something to make you feel better
http://creativefantasies.blogspot.com/2010/08/day-7-month-late.html
I made it myself ^__^ with paint and a shirt from AC moore and stencils

Amy said...

um... there's nothing wrong with Evanescence... But other than that yeah there are no chunkie shoe that aren't like Mom shoes that don't say that anymore and its kinda sad.... and after going shopping for an hour I'm also appalled that they now do not sell anything but skinny jeans in juniors and kids... it is a sad day....

Chloe said...

Black nails CAN be classy. It makes mad when people think black nails means I'm evil.

Maggie Stiefvater said...

Psh, I didn't say there was anything wrong with black nails or Evanescence, but I'm big on the idea that your clothing should describe you if you're going to bother wearing any at all (>:D) and I am not any of those things on that list, though I friends who are.

Maggie Stiefvater said...

And Kit, hee hee!

And also, Docs -- I love them! The pair of shoes I wear everywhere right now are Skechers that are very reminiscent of Docs.

Cissi said...

I sympathize. Unfortunately, I can't empathize. I wear my plain black converse everywhere, and for special occasions I switch to my slightly newer and not quite so worn out gray converse, if I am really feeling special. I really don't like wearing heels, and the only time that I really wear my plain black boots is when I want to look like i could kick some serious patooty. I really hope you find what your looking for, though! :-D

Maggie Stiefvater said...

Zoe, I just clicked on your link and realized that those boots are total rip offs of the Fluevog boots someone else pointed me too! here.

I always want to look like I could kick some serious patootie, Cissi. >:D

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