Dear Warner Brothers,
Seeing as you are hard at work at making the Shiver movie*, I understand that you and I are business acquaintances, not, like, friends. Still, I think the fact that you're releasing the next Harry Potter movie tomorrow, when I am flying to Orlando** for a conference, instead of today, which is my birthday, is extremely bad form. I realize most big movies come out on Fridays, but surely, surely you realize that I am to be the future queen of America*** and thus worth a bit of rule-bending. The complete disregard for my sole happiness would make me boycott the movie, but let's be honest. I really want to see that sucker. Fine. I'm going on Sunday. But I'm not happy about it. Not happy about it one bit. Now I'm going to be forced to do something else festive, like mail-order an elephant and eat blondies**** for breakfast.
*and by "hard at work" I mean "making mysterious hand gestures over the top of a screenplay"
**If you're in Orlando and want your book signed, I'll be doing a brief & informal stock signing there on the 19th.
***I really need to come up with a title that embodies more anarchy. Unless I want to go for ironic. I guess I could do ironic.
****9 tbs. butter, 1 3/4 cup packed brown sugar, 1 tsp vanilla (beat at medium speed until light), 2 eggs (stir in completely), 1 1/3 c. white flour, 1/2 tsp baking soda, 1/2 tsp salt (stir in completely), 1 cup chocolate chips (add). Preheat oven to 350, spray cooking spray into an 8 x 13" pan, spread in batter, bake for 28-35 minutes or until golden. Eat for breakfast.
ETA: photo evidence of blondies for breakfast.